$1 for a Bowl of Ramen

Lately I’ve been craving a bowl of a ramen and no, not that instant ramen crap, but somewhere along the lines of authentic Japanese ramen. I thought about about going to Mitsuwa, the Japanese marketplace, yesterday and I ended up lounging around and being too lazy to go. I do need some more Gatsby moving rubber too.

But! Let me tell you about the dream I had last night. I had a dream my friend HK took me some random Asian mart to fulfill my craving for ramen. She said she was going to get us a bowl of jumbo ramen for $1. Such an unbelievable deal! Seriously… I wonder if such a deal is possible… But I was quite skeptical and we went through all the aisles of the store and the whole time we were so intimate and close like we were a couple. We flirtatiously argued over what to put in our cart, what were the better brands, and of course if the deals that were present that day were too good to pass up.

In the end we ended up getting the $1 ramen and it smelled so delicious. I can’t even find the words to describe the aroma. My mouth was literally watering! Just before we were going to dig in, she leaned in, hugged me, kissed my cheek, and squeezed my stomach. I squirmed a little and she asked me if I was happy. I responded happily with a yes and that’s when I woke up from my dream with a smile on my face. That smile didn’t last long though… I found it strange that I had an intimate dream about her.

Why you may ask… Because I’ve known her for so long and yes there’s been an unspoken attraction between us it seems, but I’ve tried to keep our relationship strictly “oppa” and “dongseng” aka older brother and younger sibling. She has refused these formalities and I don’t know… What does this dream even mean? I’m kind of hoping it’s just a dream.

Oh $1 bowl of jumbo ramen! Where art thou?!?

Edit: Reminds me, our common friend called me out on FB… Lol “Why don’t you just ask HK out already?”

Enjoy this song. Just downloaded it! =D

Productive

I woke up this morning to a call for an interview regarding an account executive position for some company called EMG. I didn’t bother to call them back, because I don’t think I want to be related in anything sales oriented. It just doesn’t fit my nature. Also, I don’t think I got the staff accountant position with this data behavior analytics company. Although I didn’t really want the position (small accounting department and no formal training), it would’ve been nice to be able to get an offer (probably would’ve turned them down). It’s been a week and half since I heard from them. I just want to see a rejection e-mail, instead of hearing my father nagging me to contact them. I’m so shocked I was in three rounds of interviews with them, because I barely tried, lol.

It was my first experience with a jackass for a CFO. I have never met a CFO, of a publicly traded company, who would be positioned two rows behind me, in a cubicle, and not a separate office! That guy was such a buzzkill. He didn’t seem happy at all and sounded so bitter. Yes, be bitter that the CEO/President is on the floor above you in her own separate office. That’s why I trolled him at the end of the interview and asked him, “Where do you see yourself in this company in 5-10 years?” His response was silence for a little bit and said, “I don’t know really. Hopefully the company is doing much better… And I don’t know I’ll probably be in the same role.” That fei ren barely made eye contact with me when he took over for the second half of the third round interview, lol. I never wanted to get out of an interview so fast. He just made things so awkward and I felt so unwelcomed.

Anyways, I guess you can say I’m becoming more productive. I’ve started to CPA study again as well as consistently working out. My cousin’s wedding in Toronto is in 2 1/2 weeks. I want to look fit and on track to getting back into shape. LA is in 2 1/2 months so I’d better be in shape, lol. I’m pretty disappointed in my homie Tim though, he had to back out due to work (Deloitte can suck iiiiiiiiit!). I finally started applying again for jobs. I’ve been so lazy and unmotivated!!!

I began to look at different career paths, because I know I don’t want to do accounting more than 2-5 years lol. I was thinking about pursuing a Masters in Health Administration or Business Administration or even Clinical Counseling. My last internship being a staff accounting intern in a small accounting department (just me and the director of finance) basically narrowed my view of what I want to do with my accounting degree. No to staff accounting, no to tax, and we’ll see about financial advisory services… It seems to me it’s auditing or bust! Later down the road I definitely want to get my hand in consulting. I am curious enough to pursue that path to see if I can fit into that role.

Hmm… What shall I do for income this summer if I don’t land a position I see a long-term future in? Or should I take any decently salaried job so I can just get a new car? I have had Krystal for 9 years. She’s 12 years old with 168K miles. I gotta let her go soon…

Enjoy these songs

One Year of Laziness

I was supposed to take off the whole year off after I graduated last May to study for the CPA exam. I planned not to work because I can’t work and study at the same time. Well, I shouldn’t say I “can’t“, it’s just I’ve never really had to before and the one time I tried to, I wasn’t able to adjust to the demands of time management. I remember like it was yesterday. I had a summer internship, summer school, and I was dating a girl. It was basically 3 jobs and I only had peace when I went to sleep, lol. From all this information you already can tell or know that I’m pretty spoiled. The luxury of having all the time in the world to accomplish tasks is embedded in my nature. It’s so embedded that I’m sure I won’t be able to work underneath someone for more than 5-10 years. I like doing things my way.

 

Anyways, my plan didn’t match up with my dad’s. He hassled me to get at least a part-time job and I obliged and found myself at Safespeed, being a part-time reviewer. I met some pretty amazing people though. I really enjoyed being in an environment where most of my co-workers were Christian. We were able to share stories of faith, our hopes and our dreams, and whatever else you can name. What I didn’t like about my job? I hated getting up at 6 in the morning to get ready for work, eat, and catch at 7:50am train. After a 9am-2pm shift I’d take the train back and attempt to study from 4pm-10pm. What do I mean by attempt? I was just dead tired from lack of sleep. I’d get to XSport by 10:30pm and work out until 12:30am. By the time I got back, took protein, prepared lunch, and got ready for bed, it’d be 1:30am or 2am. This was my life 5 days out of 7. 

 

Now take all I previously mentioned and throw in that recruiting season and trying to start a relationship that I didn’t really want…  I gained some pretty great interview experience with Deloitte, McGladrey, Mitchell and Titus, and First Midwest Bank, but man I was so miserable, lol. The relationship didn’t workout, I quit Safespeed for an internship at HSBC and that ended up not working for me. Then I was selected for an internship with Bronner Group and I found out from beginning of January to the end of March, that I hate working in small accounting departments. It was just me and the director of finance. I didn’t receive the formal training that I was expecting… He just kind of threw me in the water and said swim. That didn’t fly with me at all.

 

What am I doing now? I got a 3rd round interview this Wednesday that I don’t really care about. I’m not enjoying the idea that I’d have to work in a 6 person accounting department. In my opinion that’s too small of a department, but who knows maybe I’ll be able to grow a lot if I get hired. I’m also reflecting on all the trips I’ve taken this year.

 

Here’s the list:

Toronto

Milwaukee

Fort Lauderdale/Miami

UIUC

Purdue

Wisconsin Dells

Los Angeles

Lexington

 

Near future trips:

Orlando

Los Angeles

 

Alright! Enough reflecting and complaining! What am I gonna do about this lack of motivation?!? I feel no pressure to do anything. I should’ve applied to more than 15 jobs… But I’ve done jack shit… I’m wondering what happened to the fire I had before. I thought this year off would rekindle it, because I was really burnt out from the two extra years at UIC. I’ve had this whole month of April off to study… I feel so lethargic. Now I’m starting to realize this is some sad shit indeed. It’s May 1st and today is the day I take the steps towards I pulling myself together and finding the discipline I once had. I guess it’ll start with this note and a quiet time with God. 

 

I Already Knew It

Jeremy Lin is a 6’3″, 200lb, Chinese/Taiwanese (Liberal blue party), STARTING point guard for the New Knicks. It’s amazing how people are putting articles out that saying, “Are you buying the hype?” I don’t know why people are so surprised by Lin’s ability to play. I knew he was legit as soon as I saw his Harvard vs UConn game. Even though he was not recruited in high school and undrafted in the NBA. After the workouts and the draft he had offers from the Lakers and Mavs, who were offering more money, but instead Lin chose his hometown Warriors to fulfill his childhood dream (to play for them of course). I thought it was a terrible decision since they already had Curry and Ellis. I truly believed he would’ve gotten more playing time in LA and Dallas and flourished. If he had signed with Dallas he would’ve won a ring already. Wouldn’t that be some shit (pardon my language, but I’m trying to prove a point) to rave about?

I’m glad he’s doing well in NYC though. He’s bringing many forms of revival to that team, city, and NBA. I bet you’re wondering what other forms of revival he could be bringing besides the fact that Asians can play basketball and play it well and at the highest level. Lin’s a devout Christian and not simply a Christian who claims they’re Christian. The man is faithful and using his NBA platform to spread the Good News about Jesus Christ. People are already making comparisons with him to Tim Tebow, but I believe they shouldn’t. HELLO! If you’re a Christian, you’re called to SPREAD the Good News. For some people it may be too much to hear God’s name proclaimed on television, but if one soul comes to know Jesus Christ, then it’s WORTH IT (don’t be a closet Christian). People need to start learning that this is simply being FAITHFUL. It’s not about being a GOOD or BAD Christian/Person. That’s just lazy faith and takes glory away from God. I won’t go into a full explanation about this because I wanna talk about another form of revival.

The negative stereotypes of Asian men in American media. I’ve noticed for some time now and I’ve been very vocal before that Asian men get no love in American media. You see more Asian female news anchors, reporters, actresses in movies and commercials, and models in advertisements than Asian males. I hate how they always show a pairing of an Asian woman and a Caucasian man and when they do show an Asian male, it’s with an Asian female. I’m not a racist and I love diversity, but I never or barely see a couple consisting of an Asian man and a Caucasian woman. It’s like subliminally the American media is trying to say, “Asian men aren’t good enough to be the stars in entertainment (excluding martial arts films).” In places like Canada and Europe it’s a more frequently seen an Asian man in a big role (and alongside a Caucasian counterpart), but America is SO BEHIND and that’s evident because gay people get more love and support than Asian men. How did we get leapfrogged? It took forever for African Americans to get some love and you would’ve thought Asians would be next (besides in martial arts), but gays leapfrogged us (you would’ve thought they would be after us), lol. Don’t take it the wrong way though. I love gay people as much as the next heterosexual person, but I believe Lin can lead the way to build positive stereotypes for Asian men, while glorifying God. Stereotypes are bad in general, but why not have some good ones?

I’ll close with the tweets I sent to Jeremy Lin (JLin7).

@JLin7 I wish you chose LA or Dallas instead of GS. You would’ve definitely got more playing time

@JLin7 But I’m happy you’re doing well in NYC. You’re bringing revival in many ways beyond bball

@JLin7 Keep doing work on the courts #GodBless #BeSaltAndLight

The Will

Just when I am about to go to sleep I get a gchat im from a friend.

ER: Yo Wang Zi
Me: I’m about to go to sleep man. I’m real tired. I gotta get up early and study
(I’m shaking my head at this point. The only time he calls me “Wang Zi” is when he needs something, lol)
ER: Can you make a little time for me to give me your perspective? I really need yours
Me: Lol, fine. What is it young grasshopper?
ER: Have you ever gone against God’s will? If so, why did you? And how’d you come back to His will?

And of course this conversation ensues for long period of time, delaying my sleep. What example(s) did I give? I basically told him about the disappointment I experienced in my college Christian fellowship and how I turned down being a support member.

I had an amazing first year in it. I really took pride in being member, but my class was small and there were many personal demons and struggles each of us faced. We had some future/potential leaders, but again our number was small. The following year there was an eruption of new faces and members. I was actually excited for this and excited for growth, but it didn’t really happen. The beginning and the middle was good, but at the end I felt slighted. I didn’t know why. Maybe it was because I didn’t hear anyone praise our class or maybe because people weren’t reaching out to me as much, but at the end of year my sg (small group) leader said something in his speech at Spring Celebration (event where we celebrate the people who contributed and were leaving aka graduating) that struck the wrong cord with me.

He mentioned in his speech how this new class was the answer to their prayers and that they had a feeling something big was coming this past year. I didn’t hear that a prayer was answered. I heard my class wasn’t big enough, wasn’t good enough, and wasn’t the answer to their prayers. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. The disappointment I felt and the burning desire to show them that they were wrong about us soon filled me up.

Little did I know, the Christian fellowship, that I came to knew was changing. They say sometimes change is good, but in my mind it was like, “Why fix something that isn’t broken?” I was standing off to the side, watching what was so familiar to me, become foreign. I thought to myself, “How can I have possibly let this happen?” but then I was reminded that I wasn’t apart of the exec board, that I was just a member of the outreach team, who didn’t really have a say. I started to distance myself with thoughts like, “If it’s going to be like that, then I don’t want to be apart of them,” and “Wow, they’re really not keeping with traditions. That’s messed up,” and eventually, “I’m sick of this. Fuck this bullshit. I want out.”

Preparations for Spring Celebration were coming along and after saying in person and in e-mail that I wanted to graduate that year. Either I wasn’t taken seriously, because I like to joke around all the time or it was just something that was overlooked. I don’t know. But when the day came, it surprised our staff worker that I wanted out. He immediately tried to convince me to stay and offered a support member role to me. In my heart of hearts, I knew this was what God wanted me to do, but my pride said, “They never called on your number before. They didn’t see how blessed you are. They didn’t see the potential you have. They didn’t believe in you. It’s too late. They should’ve appreciated you and this should have came sooner.” I ended up declining and retiring. I just wanted out. I didn’t care anymore.

It didn’t end there though, I ended up making a Brett Favre back from retirement the next year. A close friend of mine sat me down and told me it just wasn’t the same without me, basically talked me back into returning. I continued to do what I usually do and that’s give support whenever asked, regardless if it was appreciated or not. My attitude, mentality, and approach was lukewarm. I probably could’ve invested more, but I decided to keep it to a select few.

Did I do anything to come back to God’s will for my life? I don’t know. God’s will sometimes isn’t very specific. By this I mean career path-wise, and you see in the Bible, Jesus says, “Go,” and it’s like go where? He responds, “Just go.” Faith plays a major role and simply living your life for God should be enough. It doesn’t mean He won’t guide you alongside the road here and there. His will is still something I’m still struggling with/to find out. I think many Christians struggle with this issue. But if one door closes, another door opens and life goes on. I must simply, “Go.”

Calvin Klein

I just read an entry about a girl wondered about the significance of her current bf’s LV wallet. Possibly a wallet from an ex? Perhaps, it never leaves his back pocket, just because of the fact it’s LV. I, myself, do not keep my wallet in my back pocket. I always keep it in the front. Lol, try to pick pocket me and see what happens!

I never understood why most men kept their wallets in the back pocket. It’s so uncomfortable to sit w/ a wallet situated there. It creates a dysfunction in the evenness of your posture level. One side is more tilted at an angle than the other and I read somewhere in a CNN article that it’s terrible for your back as well. Well, at least if it’s packed. My dad’s LV wallet is huge. There are so many receipts in it. I’m like, “Ba, do you really need all those receipts? It’s bad for your back.” He replies, “I guess I should clean out my wallet soon.”

Hmm… I start to think about my old wallet. It was Calvin Klein and it wasn’t until 8-9 months when I realized this. I was just laying on my bed in my apt, looking at it. Earlier in the day someone had reacted in disgust, seeing the robustness of it. Too many rewards cards for different stores, various forms of identification, and credit/debit cards. But when did I buy a CK wallet? I then remembered, a girl I used to date bought me it for my birthday in high school (or was it Christmas? Pretty sure it was my birthday). I was so surprised at the time that I didn’t know what to do w/ it. I was dating another girl at the time, my first love, JS, so I ended up placing it in the top drawer of my dresser. It wasn’t until years later when I started to use it. By then I had completely forgotten who had given it to me. I had lost my wallet and started to use the CK one.

Black Friday rolled around this year and I was at the Chicago Premium Outlets in Aurora. I went inside the Coach factory store for men, because there was no line and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to check it out. I ended up spending $70 on a marked down limited edition Coach wallet. It was originally $200? I don’t remember, lol. All I remember was thinking, “$70?!? It’s a steal. Purchase now.” I was in need of a new and slimmer wallet anyway. Yup, that’s the trends these days, to have slimmer wallets or a money clip.

So what did I do with the CK wallet? I put it back in the top drawer of my dresser. It has some rewards cards in it, nothing too important or of value is stashed inside. But when I was on my apt bed 8-9 months ago I made a promise that I would return the favor to this girl. When I have money I will get her a nice purse/clutch/whatever types there are, and give it to her with an explanatory thank you card. Lol, of course that purse/whatever won’t be CK. Why even return the favor after all these years? Because I really did appreciate her providing me with such a wonderful gift. The service that wallet has poured out to me is priceless. When I first received it at the age of 16/17, I couldn’t really grasp the practicality/usefulness of it. I was too busy being in love, struggling with commitment, and various other issues.

What is this girl doing now? I heard she’s at a seminary university in Michigan, studying counseling. God bless her. It’s time to start my day.

P.S. Women! Wallets are great gifts for men, especially when we’re older. My birthday is coming

Disease

3 set of initials have been branded into my heart.
JS – First love
BR – Second love
JK – If given a chance I’d probably drop everything for her

My friend asked me what I meant by “drop everything for her,” and as horrible as it seems, if I was dating someone I would PROBABLY drop them, if she said to me, “Let’s be together,” and I would oblige. I don’t think I’ve passively pursued someone for this long. By passively pursued I mean, not waiting idly on the side, twiddling my thumbs as she dates other men. I, myself, have been dating other women in the meanwhile, giving them a chance, but nothing has worked out. I’ll leave it at that. Although if an opportunity arises for me and JK… Hey! Here I am. Lol, wow rereading all that… Sounds so retarded. How does this woman still have such a hold on me?

Hmm… Y’all must know S.A.D (Single Awareness Day) aka Valentine’s Day is approaching. I will be single this year. I don’t plan on wining and dining any women. Last year I took DB out last year for lunch and gave her flowers and candy. In the end I decided it wasn’t a relationship I want to pursue. Lately, I’ve been told to find a nice girl so I can go double dates w/ friends and the previous girls I have dated, all my friends have asked me, “What was wrong w/ her? She was pretty or really cute and seemed really into you. Stop being so picky! You fool! Other guys would kill to be in your shoes!”

I don’t know why I don’t want to commit to these women. Maybe I’m just scared of getting so far into a relationship w/ them that I’ll really hurt them. Currently, I just want a girl to support me (CPA studying is sucky and lonely) or a long term relationship that has no talk of marriage, lol. I still believe I won’t get married until 30 and I’m fine w/ that. The 3 women who have branded their initials into my heart were women who I’d consider strong candidates for marriage. Perhaps, I’m unfairly comparing these new/other women to the Big 3.

“Do you want to be this woman?” It would be nice if I could give a clear and definite answer, “Yes, I want to be w/ this woman!” For the last couple years it’s been, “Uh… Let’s just take it day by day and see how things turn out,” or “She’s a great girl, but…”

::sighs:: Indecision consumes me. It’s like a disease. Not good to be an indecisive man.

[Edit] I think I know what it is. I’m scared of settling and a more amazing girl will come along.

Disease 3 set of initials have been branded into my heart. JS – First love BR – Second love JK – If given a chance I’d probably drop everything for her My friend asked me what I meant by “drop everything for her,” and as horrible as it seems, if I was dating someone I would PROBABLY drop them, if she said to me, “Let’s be together,” and I would oblige. I don’t think I’ve passively pursued someone for this long. By passively pursued I mean, not waiting idly on the side, twiddling my thumbs as she dates other men. I, myself, have been dating other women in the meanwhile, giving them a chance, but nothing has worked out. I’ll leave it at that. Although if an opportunity arises for me and JK… Hey! Here I am. Lol, wow rereading all that… Sounds so retarded. How does this woman still have such a hold on me? Hmm… Y’all must know S.A.D (Single Awareness Day) aka Valentine’s Day is approaching. I will be single this year. I don’t plan on wining and dining any women. Last year I took DB out last year for lunch and gave her flowers and candy. In the end I decided it wasn’t a relationship I want to pursue. Lately, I’ve been told to find a nice girl so I can go double dates w/ friends and the previous girls I have dated, all my friends have asked me, “What was wrong w/ her? She seemed really into you. Stop being so picky! You fool! Other guys would kill to be in your shoes!” I don’t know why I don’t want to commit to these women. Maybe I’m just scared of getting so far into a relationship w/ them that I’ll really hurt them. Currently, I just want a girl to support me (CPA studying is sucky and lonely) or a long term relationship that has no talk of marriage, lol. I still believe I won’t get married until 30 and I’m fine w/ that. The 3 women who have branded their initials into my heart were women who I’d consider strong candidates for marriage. Perhaps, I’m unfairly comparing these other women to the Big 3.

Drawing You

This brings me back to 2005/2006. Ms. B, the 2nd and last love.

Hey.. You seem pretty busy lately. So umm.. Look I left you messages earlier so I.. If we could talk give me a call.

I been sitting here thinking of you all day
Writing lyrics that tell the story of you and me
Piece by piece I’m tryna put it all together
Where we went wrong and what to do to make it better
Are you out with your friends or your doing the same?
Looking out the window we used to cuddle if it rained
It’s one of them days, K-dramas and all
Corny dialogue but we both used to watch ‘em all
I knew what made you happy but now it’s all changed
Kim Nana I’m no longer your City Hunter
But you hated me before then you loved me even more
Cause I gave you my heart for nothing in return
.. And after you broke its still beatin
.. Calling your name my love’s repeating
I try to clear my thoughts, erase all of you
But when I write, my words are drawing you

Chorus:
빗방울 떨어지면 난 우두커니 눈물만 흘리고 앉아  (When the raindrops fall, I just sit around still spilling tears)
너를 부른다 오늘도 널 부른다 (I’m calling you, I’m calling you again today)
빗방울 떨어지면 난 우두커니 눈물만 흘리고 앉아 (When the raindrops fall, I just sit around still spilling tears)
너를 그린다 오늘도 널 그린다 (I’m drawing you, I’m drawing you again today)

Another bowl of ice cream here I go
Unable to get my mind of the things that we used to do
Re-painting the beautiful picture that was once there
Some of your friends hate me but you ain’t even care
Knows what she wants, a strong woman you are
Intelligence & appeal you’re the best
I had forreal
And no make up can conceal the beauty you have is real
Love ain’t something that you say, it’s something you have to feel
And with you I learned to understand
Falling in love was never really part of the plan
But here I am sincerely asking again
If I can’t have you as my girl, can I keep you as a friend?
Cause you are that important to me
I know at times it don’t seem like it
But when your not here it don’t feel right
I tried to clear my thoughts, erase all of you
But when I write, my words are drawing you

Chorus

Bridge:
I will give you all of me
Baby just come back come back
Baby just come back come back
I will give you all of me
Baby just come back come back
Baby just come back come back to me

Temple

So two nights ago when I finished my 5 mile run, the lady (yes she was on the obese side) next to me asked me during my cool down, “How did you run 5 miles at speed 7.7 the whole time? What’s your motivation?” I was a little surprised that she was asking me such questions, but I kindly responded,

“I’m just pushing myself to my current limits. I’ve let myself go. I know what this body is capable of and I can’t stand underachieving.“

She replied back, “Is that really all the motivation you need? I wanna be able to run those half marathons with my friends, but I’m so out of shape.”

My answer, “Look you can’t hang your head low, because it really gets you nowhere. If you want something, you gotta chase after it and believe in your abilities. Having some pride will help you a lot. Having a rival to compete with or chase after will help a lot too. Also each step you take doesn’t have to be a big step, but it can be multiple baby steps that lead to a big step. No one is really there with you when you’re going through all these obstacles and pain, except God, if you believe.”

She interrupted me and said, “WOW! That is all so true!”

And I continued, “Hahaha yeah, just remember your body is a temple. You have to take care of it. If you really and truly love yourself you’ll treat your body good. A lot of us take our bodies for granted, but we’re blessed to be able live each day and yes have time to exercise. Honestly, I’m doing this 5 mile run to get all the alcohol out of my system. So do everything in moderation, haha. Also, it’s not all about looking healthy, but feeling healthy. Those two things should be intertwined.”

She thanked me and I left to go to my hardcore ab workout.

Smiling One Day

I am currently watching a drama called, “Smiling Pasta.” It’s a little old from 2006, but it’s pretty good. One thing people should know about Chinese dramas, especially the Taiwanese ones, is that they are very cheesy! And since I’m a hopeless romantic/sap I actually like them, lol. Another thing about Chinese dramas is that they move pretty fast. Example is in “Smiling Pasta” He Qun accidentally kisses Cheng Xiao Shi and next thing you know she’s spending the night as his place and becomes his “fiancee” in the morning due to He Qun’s agent, Vincent.

Also, I must say I love He Qun’s slickness. He was able to reassure/charm Cheng Xiao Shi’s father with some sly words. It got me thinking about my next gong zhu. I hope that one day I could say something like this,

“____ is the most sincere girl I’ve ever met. She never hides her true feelings. When she’s sad, she’ll let her tears flow. When she’s happy, she’ll laugh to her heart’s content. Being with her, I feel at ease. I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to act like the Martin that everybody expects. Being with her, I can just be myself. A girl like this makes me want to keep her by my side forever. Forever protecting her.“

Yeah, I’m really being a hopeless romantic… Lol, but my next gong zhu has to be able to wear her heart on her sleeve and just be confident in who she is. Girls who keep a wall up can be very frustrating and they care too much of what others think. Often times I get tired of dealing with it. Enough about this though… Imma go watch another episode, lolol